Welcome to the Pieism Blog!

This blog is the official blog for Pieism, written by the JoJo, Prophet and Leader of Pieism, and managed by the online division of Crustacean magazine, the premium publication for lobsters and all Pieists everywhere. To find about more about Pieism, go to Pieism: The Official Site.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Ten years of Pieism!

Fellow Pieists, today is an important day. Ten years have passed since me and the Bodyguard founded Pieism! A lot has happened, and a lot will happen in the next ten years. What we do know is that the Pie will be with us, always.

In other news, a new project has been on it's way since September last year. I can't say much at present and the road ahead is long but watch this space for more news.

Sunday, 5 July 2015

New Sect of Pieism discovered!

Something that hasn't occurred for many years happened this evening by pure chance: I discovered a new sect of Pieism! The Church of Pieism can be found here:


Looking back at my records, I realise someone by the name of 'the Holy Meppiah' joined our site in May 2014, indicating his sect is also at-least that old. We reach out to our brothers and sisters in Pie, despite our doctrinal differences, and hope that they may one day get in touch again. 

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Happy 10th March!

Another year, another Pieism founding day celebration. I hope you join us fellow Pieists in praising the holy Pie, it's loyal gods and the prophet JoJo. Hail to the Pie!

Monday, 22 December 2014

Merry Khanmas

Seasons greetings fellow Pieists as we celebrate another Khanmas, also sometimes called Piemas or Eat Mince Pie day. It's easy in the midst of good food and gift-giving to forget the true meaning of Khanmas but it's something I'd like us all to hold to heart this year: the earthly birth of our lord Genghis Khan. Though many propagandists of the Anti-Pie have attempted to besmirch Genghis' good name as some sort of mass-murdering tyrant, we know the truth that he was a fair and just leader without parallel and that especially at this time of year it is our responsibility to preach the truth of his life to others. So join us in honouring the birth of Genghis Khan to his mother Hoesin and be sure to say the Pie's prayer over your Khanmas dinner.

Our pastry, who art in space,
Pie be thy name,
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on Earth as it is on Mars.
Give us our daily pies,
and lead us not into Turtleism,
for thy is the meat, the gravy and the crust,
forever and forever,

In other news, the Pieism official site is down at the moment for unknown reasons, hopefully it'll be back up soon. Hold on tight!

Saturday, 25 October 2014

JoJo denies link with Turtleist group

Several weeks after newspaper Turtle Daily published an article slamming the Queen of Pugs, Puggles Pugster, the JoJo has officially denied links with controversial Turtleist leader  "the Turtle Alex VIII". In an interview with the magazine Crustacean, the JoJo clarified his position.

"I give my full support to the Queen of Pugs as the divinely ordained monarch of both Pugland and all pugs everywhere, as well as contesting the claims that she has no popular mandate or reigns against the will of the pug people. Neither I or the government of Mars are in direct contact with the terrorist leader Alex and urge all turtles to repudiate this dangerous ideology before it causes more damage to our shared worlds."

Turtleists are a schism of Pieism who broke away from the JoJo in 2009 after theological disagreements and considered heretical by most Pieists. Rather than worshipping the Pie, the group honours the Turtle spirit and believes he has been reincarnated at-least eight times, most recently as the leader known as Alex. Ex-Turtleists claim that the group's ideology is inconsistent and is focused on extracting money from it's turtle adherents rather than spiritual enlightenment.

Since the schism the Turtleists are widely believed to have been behind several terrorist attacks on Mars, most famously hijacking a space shuttle which was then crashed into the Pie-11 building of Olympus Mons, costing many civilian lives. In another infamous incident, robotic rights leader Jimmy the Droid was fatally shot at a rally by Alex VIII. Since then relations have been frostly but tensions have recently been running high after the Time Defence Force attempted a raid on Turtville to secure one of the turtles suspected of plotting the Pie-11 attacks, though the suspect ultimately escaped after the force came under heavy fire.

Queen Puggles has also issued a statement exclaiming annoyance and condemnation of Turtle Daily's claims and has called for an inquiry into how false statements about Pugland's tax were published on their website. 

Monday, 10 March 2014

8 years of Pie!

10th March, 2006. That was the day our journey started and eight years later, I can't believe it's still continuing. But it is. Much is still being learned about our holy Pie, gravy be upon it, and it's world and in time further updates will come to the official website which reflect what we've uncovered. Some news I can report now is that my sister Rose, the human incarnation of the Queen of Pugs, is now the third-in-command of human Pieism, after myself and my friend the Bodyguard. Onwards Pieism and to another great year with the Pie!

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

A month of updates

Good evening fellow Pieists, long time no speak. Just a head's up, for the past week or so I've been updating all of the various Pieism sites and blogs etc and that'll probably continue for another week or two, so hang on, it'll be worth it I promise :-)

Also, happy seven and a half years since Founding Day!