A word on cake

Firstly. Thirteen long years. Thank you to all Pieists who have stuck with us for so long, praising the Pie daily. Or whenever possible.

I have been asked to clarify our position on cake. Some other sects of Pieism abhor the stuff, while others pay its crumbly layers no heed. We fall into the latter category. Cake is nothing to be feared, or indeed worshipped. It is merely a flour-based desert which cannot compare to the infinite majesty of our Pie.

Did the JoJo have a past life? The answer may surprise you

New evidence uncovered by crustacean researchers suggests that the JoJo may have had a past life in the earlier half of the 17th century. Born in England, he would later be exiled from his homeland for teaching the true ways of the crust, and sail across the Atlantic to find his destiny in the Caribbean. This would lead to what the texts considered to be the future tales. 

On this 10th March, 12 years after the founding of Pieism, it is worth remembering the miracle of continuous revelations. Praise the Pie!

Pieism is not a new religion

It is a common refrain, even in official Pieist publications, to say Pieism was founded on 10th March 2006. This is not strictly true, however. The Church of JoJo Pieism was founded on that date, but the religion itself had already been practised on Mars for millennia before that. Very little is known about this mysterious twin of our own earthly sect, usually known as the Church of Mars. What is clear from scripture though is that the Pieist faith was even spread to Earth in medieval times, though it appears to not have survived to our modern era. Perhaps the rituals of the red planet were too arcane to be readily understood by us Earthlings.

This leads me onto the next declaration. While the Church of JoJo Pieism is one and indivisible, from now any Pieist may set up their own holy order within the church, provided it follows the core beliefs of Pieism. Orders are free to determine their own structure and membership requirements, though official recognition may be withdrawn if an order is judged to be abusing that freedom.

11th anniversary of Pieism's founding.

It is this time of year we come together to honour the greatest gift of the almighty Pie, Pieism. Without the tastiest of religions, we would have no way to break from the cycle of birth and rebirth and live with the Pie on Mars. So next time you tuck into a pie, be thankful to the greatest of crusts for the creed which we follow.

Updated Constitution for Pieism

It has come to my attention that the third Constitution of Pieism, brought into force on 1st January 2010, has never been amended despite subsequent revelations and so by this point in time is out-of-date in certain places. I hereby invoke my powers as JoJo to amend that text and grant the fourth Constitution of Pieism:

1. By the grace of the almighty Pie, this is the official constitution of the Church of JoJo Pieism. The following constitution may only be amended by a majority of the followers of Pieism, or by the JoJo himself.
2. While he is on Earth, the primary authority in Pieism shall be the JoJo himself. Upon his leaving, authority shall pass to the Bodyguard and then to the JoJo's designated heirs, who will be known as the King or Queen of Mars, along with the council of High Priests. 
3. The followers of Pieism shall be taught by the Pie Priests, who will be appointed and trained by the High Priest of their diocese. High Priests will be elected by the majority of their flock from the Pie Priests, and hold that position for life, unless they choose to retire, or are deposed for gross misconduct by a council of their peers or by the majority of their flock. 
4. The High Priests shall meet in a council, led by the King or Queen of Mars. This council may make pronouncements on doctrine, dioceses and appointments, by majority vote.
5. The designated heir of the JoJo shall be his first born descendant, and their first born, and so on. If no descendants remain, those of his sister and then his brothers shall take their place, and there after his cousins and more distant relatives. If the designated heir is not a Pieist, the next in line will take his or her place. The heir may be deposed by the council of High Priests or by a majority of all followers for gross misconduct. 
6. Any act in contradiction to this constitution shall be null and void.

Furthermore, any acts in the past few years which might be questionable under the old constitution are now reconfirmed as legitimate. Praise be with the Pie!

Ten years of Pieism!

Fellow Pieists, today is an important day. Ten years have passed since me and the Bodyguard founded Pieism! A lot has happened, and a lot will happen in the next ten years. What we do know is that the Pie will be with us, always.

In other news, a new project has been on it's way since September last year. I can't say much at present and the road ahead is long but watch this space for more news.

New Sect of Pieism discovered!

Something that hasn't occurred for many years happened this evening by pure chance: I discovered a new sect of Pieism! The Church of Pieism can be found here:

http://churchofpieism.weebly.com/

Looking back at my records, I realise someone by the name of 'the Holy Meppiah' joined our site in May 2014, indicating his sect is also at-least that old. We reach out to our brothers and sisters in Pie, despite our doctrinal differences, and hope that they may one day get in touch again. 

Happy 10th March!

Another year, another Pieism founding day celebration. I hope you join us fellow Pieists in praising the holy Pie, it's loyal gods and the prophet JoJo. Hail to the Pie!

Merry Khanmas

Seasons greetings fellow Pieists as we celebrate another Khanmas, also sometimes called Piemas or Eat Mince Pie day. It's easy in the midst of good food and gift-giving to forget the true meaning of Khanmas but it's something I'd like us all to hold to heart this year: the earthly birth of our lord Genghis Khan. Though many propagandists of the Anti-Pie have attempted to besmirch Genghis' good name as some sort of mass-murdering tyrant, we know the truth that he was a fair and just leader without parallel and that especially at this time of year it is our responsibility to preach the truth of his life to others. So join us in honouring the birth of Genghis Khan to his mother Hoesin and be sure to say the Pie's prayer over your Khanmas dinner.

Our pastry, who art in space,
Pie be thy name,
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on Earth as it is on Mars.
Give us our daily pies,
and lead us not into Turtleism,
for thy is the meat, the gravy and the crust,
forever and forever,
Amen.

In other news, the Pieism official site is down at the moment for unknown reasons, hopefully it'll be back up soon. Hold on tight!

JoJo denies link with Turtleist group

Several weeks after newspaper Turtle Daily published an article slamming the Queen of Pugs, Puggles Pugster, the JoJo has officially denied links with controversial Turtleist leader  "the Turtle Alex VIII". In an interview with the magazine Crustacean, the JoJo clarified his position.

"I give my full support to the Queen of Pugs as the divinely ordained monarch of both Pugland and all pugs everywhere, as well as contesting the claims that she has no popular mandate or reigns against the will of the pug people. Neither I or the government of Mars are in direct contact with the terrorist leader Alex and urge all turtles to repudiate this dangerous ideology before it causes more damage to our shared worlds."

Turtleists are a schism of Pieism who broke away from the JoJo in 2009 after theological disagreements and considered heretical by most Pieists. Rather than worshipping the Pie, the group honours the Turtle spirit and believes he has been reincarnated at-least eight times, most recently as the leader known as Alex. Ex-Turtleists claim that the group's ideology is inconsistent and is focused on extracting money from it's turtle adherents rather than spiritual enlightenment.

Since the schism the Turtleists are widely believed to have been behind several terrorist attacks on Mars, most famously hijacking a space shuttle which was then crashed into the Pie-11 building of Olympus Mons, costing many civilian lives. In another infamous incident, robotic rights leader Jimmy the Droid was fatally shot at a rally by Alex VIII. Since then relations have been frostly but tensions have recently been running high after the Time Defence Force attempted a raid on Turtville to secure one of the turtles suspected of plotting the Pie-11 attacks, though the suspect ultimately escaped after the force came under heavy fire.

Queen Puggles has also issued a statement exclaiming annoyance and condemnation of Turtle Daily's claims and has called for an inquiry into how false statements about Pugland's tax were published on their website. 

8 years of Pie!

10th March, 2006. That was the day our journey started and eight years later, I can't believe it's still continuing. But it is. Much is still being learned about our holy Pie, gravy be upon it, and it's world and in time further updates will come to the official website which reflect what we've uncovered. Some news I can report now is that my sister Rose, the human incarnation of the Queen of Pugs, is now the third-in-command of human Pieism, after myself and my friend the Bodyguard. Onwards Pieism and to another great year with the Pie!

A month of updates

Good evening fellow Pieists, long time no speak. Just a head's up, for the past week or so I've been updating all of the various Pieism sites and blogs etc and that'll probably continue for another week or two, so hang on, it'll be worth it I promise :-)

Also, happy seven and a half years since Founding Day!

6 Years of Pieism - 2012 Reboot

Good day my loyal followers, today is six whole years since I first founded Pieism and one year since I posted on this blog. Welcome to the 7th year of Pie! I'm happy to announce that as a celebration of what our religion has done so far, a number of holy changes to streamline and improve the canon of Pieism will be happen over the remainder of 2012. Most of these changes will be most evident on the Pieism Official Site.

Watch the official site for the changes to arrive! Onwards Pieism and here's to another six years of success!

5 Years of Pieism - Final Post Ever?

Hello fellow Pieists, today is 10th March 2011, 5 entire years to the day after I founded Pieism all those years ago! So much has happened since then; the finding of sacred scrolls, the rise of the lobsters, the writing of the Book of Pie, the tales of the future... but it's time to say goodbye. For the time being I have other important duties in my life to attend to, so for now I will not update this blog or any other Pieism site. I may return in the future, but for now, keep the teachings of the holy Pie close to you and by the power of the gravy you shall be saved.

Your's in Pie,

JoJo

Exams Finished!

Good news, I have finally finished the A-level exams which have been taking up so much of my time recently! Now, I will have more time for Pieism again. The other good news is that as long as I get my grades, I will be going to Exeter for uni, the town of my birth! This was destined to happen I think, and is the next stage of my holy journey. So until next time, may the Pie be with you!

4 Years of Pieism!!!

Today it is four years since me and the Bodyguard founded Pieism, so much has happened, and there is still so much more to take place during my holy stay on Earth. But for now, that it's so until next time ;-)

One Month Until 10th March...

Just one month until the anniversity for 4 years of Pieism, I must confirm that although progress on the Pieism novel In Pie We Trust is going along at a good pace, it certainly won't be finished by that date, and it may not even be out until June or later; like many projects the further it progresses the longer it becomes. But do not fear, one day it will complete.

End of a Decade + A New Constitution

Finally, the end of Pieism's first decade, from it's founding on the 10th March 2006 to today, the 31st December 2009. Pieism has changed so much in less than four years, what happens during the next decade will likely set a precedent for the whole of Pieism's future, here's some events that could happen over the next ten years:

1. The release of "In Pie We Trust", the Pieism novel, will likely happen in early 2010, although its undecided whether it will see an Internet release.
2. The moving of the JoJo (me) to somewhere new, hopefully in Exeter, which will likely happen in October 2010, although I will occasionally return to Poole, where Pieism was founded.
3. The JoJo meeting his future love, and possibly even fulfilling the ancient prophecy of the scrolls by producing the one known only as the "Aisu JoJo", who shall continue the bloodline of the Pie forever!

We can only hope, anyway click here to read the new Constitution of Pieism, which will take effect from the 1st January 2010!

Have a great new year!

Constitutional Changes

As we reach the end of 2009, I am currently reviewing the Constitution of Pieism, which can be found at the following link. Generally, the constitution needs to made more streamlined and functional, in particular however three parts will likely be changed:

1. The constitution currently only allows for the leadership of Pieism to be inherited by the Bodyguard, then afterwards the position is vacant, in light of new relevations the position will likely also be made open to any descendants of the JoJo.
2. The current system, which has three grades of followers (Pie Lords, Pie Priests and Followers), will likely be replaced by one general "Followers" group, which will be one power alongside the JoJo and the Bodyguard.
3. Due to the writing of the novel In Pie We Trust by me, it is likely that the part of the constitution that states that the Book of Pie will always be the most important holy book will be removed.

These changes will come into effect on 1st January 2010, assuming that they are accepted by both the Bodyguard and the majority of the Followers. If they do, I will post the new constitution at the above link, and on this blog.

A Pieism Simpsons Episode + New Pieism Adventure

I have two good bits of news, the first is the third Pieism adventure has been released on Spore, it is called "The Pie's Forgotten Tale" and is definitely the best Pieism adventure so far, so if you happen to own Spore: GA then give it go, my username is "JoJoDeathunter".

The second good piece of news is that I have recently seen a Simpsons Episode, "Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass" (Season 16), which contains two Pieism gods, Sally Squid and the Pac-man, one Pieism demi-god, Super Mario and also a quick cameo of the JoJo! (Which is the JoJo's second confirmed appearence, the first was on the front of a magazine which Homer was holding!)