"I give my full support to the Queen of Pugs as the divinely ordained monarch of both Pugland and all pugs everywhere, as well as contesting the claims that she has no popular mandate or reigns against the will of the pug people. Neither I or the government of Mars are in direct contact with the terrorist leader Alex and urge all turtles to repudiate this dangerous ideology before it causes more damage to our shared worlds."
Turtleists are a schism of Pieism who broke away from the JoJo in 2009 after theological disagreements and considered heretical by most Pieists. Rather than worshipping the Pie, the group honours the Turtle spirit and believes he has been reincarnated at-least eight times, most recently as the leader known as Alex. Ex-Turtleists claim that the group's ideology is inconsistent and is focused on extracting money from it's turtle adherents rather than spiritual enlightenment.
Since the schism the Turtleists are widely believed to have been behind several terrorist attacks on Mars, most famously hijacking a space shuttle which was then crashed into the Pie-11 building of Olympus Mons, costing many civilian lives. In another infamous incident, robotic rights leader Jimmy the Droid was fatally shot at a rally by Alex VIII. Since then relations have been frostly but tensions have recently been running high after the Time Defence Force attempted a raid on Turtville to secure one of the turtles suspected of plotting the Pie-11 attacks, though the suspect ultimately escaped after the force came under heavy fire.
Queen Puggles has also issued a statement exclaiming annoyance and condemnation of Turtle Daily's claims and has called for an inquiry into how false statements about Pugland's tax were published on their website.
12 comments:
Sounds like a load of rubbish to me! Classic claptrap from the real terrorists! DOWN WITH THE PIE! LONG LIVE THE TURTLE!
Totally agree! FREE MARS FROM THE PIE TERROR!
Disgusted by this post! THE PIES DAYS ARE LIMITED! SOON THE TRUE LEADER, OUR TURTLE, WILL PREVAIL
Here here!
Obvious lies from the pie himself! VIVA LA TURTLE!
Can't believe the solid lack of proof here! DISGUSTING!
This website should be shutdown! THE PIE WILL DIE!
No one actually believes this do they?!
The pie seems to think of turtleism as a turtle only religion! What a fool! Turtists of all species; from humans to squid, dogs to birds, unite!!!
I'm a clownfish!
I'm a human!
What the Jupiter are all these troll comments? You are all paid Turtleists, everyone knows you are just angry for Crustacean magazine disproving your lies about the Pie!
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